Friday, July 15, 2011

How is the beginning of my story?

I didn't like the beginning. It didn't grab me in. Her talking about her plane ride and complaining about her life made me want to leave but I stayed to give feedback. Honestly I realize teens don't like spending time with their family(I'm a teen. I went through that for about a few months) but this girl is complaining too much. Tone it down a little. It just isn't an interesting beginning in general.

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